The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

Teens Find Endless Opportunities in ISIS

Photo+by+ISIS
Photo by ISIS

By Aaron Ilia Merritt

ISIS starts open recruitment to all United States public schools in April.

Due to all the western teens and young adults joining ISIS in their fight to start an Islamic state in the Middle East, ISIS has been spreading terror all over the world. The group has been making beheading videos and other execution videos featuring civilians from surrounding cities and countries in order to spread fear. The American teens joining ISIS are reported to be the typical action-loving Call of Duty playing kids. ISIS Colorado recruitment center will be having a demonstration day on April 1, 2015. On demo day an ISIS general will be answering any questions that those looking to join may have. Parents of teens are more than welcome to come and see what the hype is about. ISIS will be handing out information and recruitment brochures at the open house. The recruitment papers have a personality test in them. One of the questions is, “What is your favourite weapon?” Many parents were skeptical if they should let their kids join, but Wheat Ridge parent John Smith praised the recruitment program saying,” ISIS really got to know my child, they also have great training programs. I really feel that ISIS has been a great opportunity for my child.” ISIS has been known to teach its soldiers leadership, integrity, and martyrdom. All valuable skills that can be applied in the workforce after one serves a few tours in the Middle East.“ ISIS really taught me how to lead a group of people working to achieve a common goal. Now I am a General Manager at Microsoft. My best friend is also high up in the corporate chain at British Petroleum.” Said former ISIS soldier Bill Johnson. ISIS says they are taking more recruits as time progresses. They will soon be running campaigns and commercials to promote their cause and methods. They promise that together the world will be under one flag, the black and white ISIS flag. ISIS will be putting out fliers for job openings by April of 2015. They are now looking for are cooks, janitors, and secretaries, so be sure to learn more about ISIS and get to the recruitment center. And if you see them in your high school be sure to stop by and say hi. ISIS representatives are always happy to meet their future soldiers.

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