The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

A Vape Pen a Day keeps the Doctor Away

photo+courtesy+dimondbackonline.com
photo courtesy dimondbackonline.com

By McKinnley Bartels

Say you are at a restaurant and the people sitting next to you are eating some big, fat, juicy cheeseburgers and you want in on that action but you’re trying to stick to your vape diet–wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to whip out your handy-dandy vape pen and just sit there, vaping it up instead of eating that heart attack on a plate that others are eating?

Recent studies by the Maryland Academy for drug experiments have shown that vape pens are extremely healthy for you and the chemicals, which include a combination of waxes, oils, and dry, poisonous herbs, have exceptional, long-lasting effects on you and your body.

Not only do these deliciously flavored pens taste great, they also keep the weight off. You can drop from a size 36 to a size nine just by vaping constantly, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Can you believe it? That’s all you have to do.

Vape pens have many other extraordinary benefits as well. It has been proven that they increase your ability to inhale and exhale vast amounts of air and vapor. According to many track stars, the vapor also increases users’ running speeds and strides.

It gives you a certain sensation, kind of like your intestines are on fire and are going to burn up at any given point. It is truly a great feeling.  If you’re wanting your lungs to change colors and go from a pinkish color to completely black, start vaping right away!

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You also can tell your friends and family that you have an incredible disease called black lung and they will all think its super cool. They may even be a little jealous. Just think of all the great things that can come out of using vapor pens and all the benefits you receive for this addiction.

This habit can change your life forever. Past research has shown that you can go from a strong athletic person, to a person who vapes all the time trying to lose weight, work on your breathing skills, feel like you’re on fire, and get a rad disease.

This new way of smoking has been such a success that students at Wheat Ridge High School and other Jeffco schools are being encouraged to vape in the halls, during P.E. class, and all throughout the day.

 

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