The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

The student news site of Wheat Ridge High School

The Haystack

Horoscopes For September

Horoscopes For September

By Hannah Larson

See what’s in your stars this month!

Aries March 21 to April 19

A piece of toilet paper will be stuck to your shoe. On the upside, your crush will think it’s funny and ask you to homecoming. Lucky you!

Taurus
April 20 to May 20

Today will be a great day for you because you will find a dollar on your way to school. On top of that you will get an unexpected grade. Take some time for yourself.

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Gemini May 21 to June 20
Be cautious of what you say and how you say it. Some crazy guy will be running around asking an obvious question. If you answer wrong, he has an unidentified object in his left hand.

Cancer June 21 to July 22

Today will be filled with all sorts of nostalgia, like that stupid Spanish video you made freshman year or even a picture you took with an old friend. Try and let these memories work for you.

Leo July 23 to August 22

Don’t worry about the petty things today. You will have an embarrassing moment in class but everything will okay. Your leopard print underwear was only seen by a couple of people.

Virgo August 23 to Sept. 22

Today you will trip and fall whether it real or metaphorical, no one but you noticed. Even though it seems bad, you’ll be fine.

Libra Sept. 23 to October 22

All will go great today, or so you think. Your best friend will steal your boo thang, your car will break down, and the one class you thought was so easy, you will find out it isn’t so easy. Smile through it. Tomorrow brings a new friend and new luck.

Scorpio October 23 to Nov. 21

You will receive a surprise phone call today and you will drop your phone in a well. It may have been your mom or your probation officer. Maybe you should lay low and stay away from flashing red and blue lights.

Sagittarius Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

Today you will be very superstitious. So stay away from black cats, mirrors, ladders, and don’t step on a crack you may break your mother’s back.

Capricorn Dec. 22 to January 19

Your day will be filled with magic and wonder. If you look hard enough into the horizon, who knows what you might see? Maybe a unicorn. Fingers crossed.

Aquarius January 20 to Feb. 18

You will rip your pants in the most unusual place. But don’t worry the office will have a pair of pink parachute pants ready for you.

Pisces Feb. 19 to March 20

Today you will realize high school is much harder this year. You will have a surprise essay due for English, your money for lunch will be gone and you didn’t study for your math test. Damn, that sucks.

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