By Hannah Larson

Read this month’s humorous horoscopes to see what the universe has in store for you!

Aries: March 21—April 19
The luck of the Irish is starting to have an effect on you, and you will see advances in your social life. If your day seems to be going great, remember for you there is still a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. In other words, the best is yet to come!

Taurus: April 20—May 20
An unexpected surprise will present itself while on your way to work or school, and it will be a one in a million chance that it would happen to you. It could be anything from finding five dollars to scoring a free burrito. Maybe it’s due to some sort of rare unicorn magic.

Gemini: May 21—June 20
This month will lead you to a few interesting things. People may try to use their charm and good looks to get you right where they want you. Be wary of those people because, just like the sirens of ancient Greece, they will cause a bunch of mermaid mishaps.

Cancer: June 21—July 22
Your frustration is going to grow this month, and everyone will get on your nerves. Enjoy time by yourself and stay away from all of those people. Just try not to go all Medusa and turn them to stone.

Leo: July 23—August 22
You may begin to think you are slightly losing your mind in the near future. You will forget about important dates, and you’ll lose all sorts of things. However, you may not be losing your marbles quite yet. Fairies may be the tiny culprits, stealing your socks and hiding your lunch bags.

Virgo: August 23—September 22
This month you will stay up late at night. You will keep away from the sun, and you will have a loss of appetite. No, you are not turning into a vampire, but you may be suffering from some stress. To fix these problems, go outside and socialize.

Libra: September 23—October 22
As the stars align in your favor you will start to notice some impossible events. Everyone said you were crazy, but this time you have undeniable proof that Bigfoot really exists. However, if that proof happens to be a blurry picture, it wouldn’t be wise to flaunt it.

Scorpio: October 23—November 21
You usually don’t go out often, but you feel like you need to stargaze. You will be able to breathe and figure some things out. Just don’t let those bright lights in the sky freak you out; they might just be planes instead of UFOs.

Sagittarius: November 22—December 21
The nights will wear thin, and you won’t seem to sleep often. You will begin to scare some family members and worry them with your dog-like habits. To reassure them you are fine, shave your face so they don’t mistake you for a werewolf!

Capricorn: December 22—January 19
This month will be full of improvements! You are a very superstitious person, but you have been keeping yourself quite sane for a while. You no longer think your neighbor’s chihuahua is El Chupacabra. Way to go!

Aquarius: January 20—February 18
As the days go by you will come across some obstacles. You will have to face problems you were hoping to avoid. Since you have put them off for this long, they have grown to become Cyclops-sized issues. Just remember that they all have a solution, in your case one giant eye.

Pisces: February 19—March 20
This month you will feel revitalized! You will start to go out often, and you will become social as winter ends. Like a Phoenix rising from the flames, you will feel born again!