By Daniela Santos

His comment stated, “Comin’ to D.C. in 2016.”

Recent high school dropout Sam Astray has recently released a statement on Snapchat informing all his followers of his intensions to one day become the president of the United States. His comment stated, “Comin’ to D.C. in 2016.”

Dressed in a muscle tee and a sideways baseball hat, Astray believes he can be the change that this country needs, “In my book, casual Friday will be everyday!”

The former senior chose to drop out of high school due to his inability to practice his first amendment right to freedom of speech at the school. “Risking my future was the best way to protest and get my teachers and peers to truly listen to me,” he said.

Astray then informed us that his aspirations for becoming president began when his nomination for his class’ senior song, “Loyal” by Chris Brown, was not chosen. “This country is supposed to be a democracy, it’s unjust,” said the 18-year-old. “The lyrics are supposed to be about respecting women and bettering the economy. Who wouldn’t be in favor of this piece of art?” The lyrics he referred to were, “Just got rich, took a broke n*%#$’s b&^*@, I can make a broke b&^*@ rich, but I don’t f*** with broke b&^*@!”

The goals that Astray is most passionate about are proving that global warming is a myth, heavy taxes on the top 1 percent is mathematically incorrect, and making Senior Ditch Day a national holiday. He also wishes to remove the stigma towards teenagers. “We are a force to be reckoned with,” said Astray, who currently resides in the basement of his campaign manager and works part-time at his local Dairy Queen.

When asked about how he would solve the dilemma of how 25 percent of freshmen fail to graduate from high school on time, Astray believes it is time to create a schedule that can accommodate to the life of the average student. “I want the future generation of all 13 states to receive a more flexible education.”