Do You Want to Fall in Love Fast?
February 14, 2019
Valentine’s Day is here and everyone is looking for someone to buy that big teddy bear for.
A big buzz that was going around in 2014 when The New York Times release the article “The 36 Questions that Lead to Love.” A psychologist came up with 36 question you are to ask a random stranger that you are attracted to. The game is designed to make the pair feel extreme attraction towards the other. At the very end of the questions you are supposed to have four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact. The questions are:
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
We decided to send one of our reporters out to try this theory out. This was a hard job to fill; we had to get someone who was sweet, interesting, attractive, and trustworthy. Once we found this reporter, it was up to him to find someone to do the questions with. This is his response to his experience he had doing what we are calling The 36 Question Challenge.
While doing The 36 Question Challenge I felt a range of emotions from being nervous, all the way to being completely comfortable. The hardest part to this challenge was finding an intelligent girl who would actually agree to sit down and talk about her flaws, best and worst memories, and the problems in her life.
After school one day I ran into a girl that I only knew a little about. I decided that I would take the risk and ask her to go through the 36 questions with me. I was very nervous for her response. She is both beautiful in every way and still had that mysterious side of her. She decided she was willing to do it.The next day we made a time to meet up. That first 20 minutes was the hardest, we had to make small talk but we both knew of the elephant in the room. The questions are supposed to create trust by starting out with not too deep of questions and then working into very deep questions. This part of the challenge I liked. We were able to laugh and have fun so we let our guard down. These questions show the other person’s personality.
The question that I have with the test is does it pull people so close that they are afraid to come around because of the other’s person past, or because they are afraid to have that second conversation? After trying these questions I noticed that it has been harder to start a conversation with this girl because, in my opinion, all the mysteriousness is gone from the relationship. You know almost too much about the person.
I would recommend instead of trying all 36 questions instead have each person choose only five questions. This way you are finding out the questions that you would concern you in a relationship and so can she. This way you can still find out things about the other on the second and third dates. I wish I had known these going into that day.
Sadly, I don’t believe I will have a relationship with this person. However, I do believe we connected on a deeper level. An almost too deep level. Romance in my newly formed opinion, thrives on mysteriousness.