Usually when people hear of high school sports they think students from different schools competing against each other but these vaping competitions our teachers are having against one another are giving teachers an opportunity to “be hip” and “understand the teen norms.”

According to DrugFree.org, 20 percent of high school students vape, so imagine how many teachers could vape with the vapes they take from this percentage of students.

According to various high school officials, at these competitions they lock vapes to see which teacher could rip the fattest vape out of all of them. The primary reason they compete is for the prize, “The Omega Cloud Ripper 2000.”        

The Omega Cloud Ripper 2000, or just The Cloud Ripper for short, has been compared to the work of God. The legendary vaping device has several unique features such as giving you immediate lung cancer and an extreme nicotine addiction making your entire body ache when you’re not taking a hit from this divine creation. The Farmers teacher vape team want The Cloud Ripper so they can have a competitive training edge and take bigger hits than their competition.  

In order to prepare for this competition our teachers here on the farm train in the teacher bathroom down in the annex. Located in the bathroom they have a couch specifically for competitive vaping.

The last competition took place in the annex bathroom March 15 against Golden. According to our inside source, Golden lost horribly to our teachers at the Farm. When we attempted to ask the teachers at Golden, they refused and said “no comment.” Due to their victory each teacher on the Wheat Ridge team was rewarded “The Omega Cloud Ripper 2000.”

This essentially means for us students that the halls and bathrooms probably won’t stop

smelling like bubblegum, cotton candy, and other deceiving vape scents.