Lead Poisoning Leads to Monstrosity in School


photo by Melody Maendal

Kendra Gothard wields her broom.

Melody Maendel, Rookie Reporter

On March 2 at 3:15 a pipe explosion inside the drinking fountain by the large gym and let about half a pound of lead into the system.

Freshman, Amy Vickers stayed after school to finish a test when she went to go get a drink. Mysteriously all the other drinking fountains were shut off so she went to the drinking fountain by the gym. Soon after drinking that water she stumbled around the school asking one question to random students, “Where’s the water? Where’s the water?” At 4:00 she started to develop hard scales, and teeth that were made of lead.

English teacher Timothy Slater saw Vickers the lead monster and ran screaming like a little girl down the hall, Slater reported that Vickers was slobbering all over herself while screaming and running after him. He ran all the way up to math teacher Kendra Gothard’s room to seek for help. Gothard gladly gave Slater help, grabbing the nearest broom that she had to get Vickers to run away. Then, as Vickers ran down the hall mostly because she is broomphobic, Gothard called the monster control.

 As soon as the monster control got to the school they investigated and came to one solution; to lure the lead monster out with pizza from the secret fridge that the cafeteria staff has. Sure enough, later that night they lured out Vickers- the- lead- monster, with that pizza. It came to be that the lead monster just needed a therapy session and that she was crying for help the whole time. They understood that because they got the military’s secret alien translator to the table, junior  John Kibozi.  They hit it off right away and Vickers changed back to her normal self, but just for the day.

If Vickers is missing and you can’t find her tell the counselor. Best case is that Vickers is seeing her boyfriend the alien translator, Kibozi, and the worst case is that Vickers- the-lead- monster is running around the hall scaring Slater for fun or chasing people down until they give her food. So be on the lookout for her and bring a broom, just in case.